Up in the Air

Things are still a bit up in the air.

No calls from my doctor about my kidney scan test.  I stuck so close to my phone all week that it reminded me of my teenage years waiting for the phone to ring.  Of course, now I have an iPhone, so waiting by the phone is not quite so restrictive as it used to be in those days.  But it does make me wonder why I haven't received a call.  They told me at the hospital that my results would be ready later that afternoon.  That was Monday.  So, where are my doctors??  Heavens knows I have enough of them.   

What else is up in the air?

I am supposed to go on language training starting on July 8.  But only if they can form a group of more than one.  They don't know yet for sure.

My job is a bit up in the air right now too.

Summer vacation is up in the air.  Depends on language training and my exam date.  And my kidney scan test results!!

So big things are up in the air.  And little things too.  Like whether Amrita and I will go to see any games at Aveen's soccer tournament on the weekend (depends on how much it rains). Whether Sunday will be dominated by soccer too (depends on how well his team does).  What hours I will work next week (depends on how my appointments go) - it is getting harder to work such limited hours.

I guess things are always up in the air to a certain extent whether or not they are health-related things like I am going through or not.  I used to like to pin things down.  I liked commitment.  I liked (like) certainty.  Well, life just doesn't work out that way.  You can't plan on rain or winning or losing.  (Who would have thought that soccer holds so many life lessons?)  You sometimes just have to go along on the winding path and see where it takes you. 

I'm trying to do that.  I'm learning.  It's not my nature but I'm trying.  There are advantages to some uncertainty too.  It leaves me room to change my mind and my plans, because sometimes I feel differently.  It leaves room for spontaneity and adventure. 

Of course, I don't want to turn into a complete commitment-phobe either.  I sometimes worry that I am being too vague with people at times.  Well, one day, I can explain to them why.  For now, I can deal with the uncertainty in my life by being a little mysterious myself.