Today, I am at home with Aveen and I think we both have the flu. We are feeling terrible and I am filled with fear, because the flu was how this all started 11 months ago. Rationally, I know that it is most likely just the flu, but the unstoppable fear in me says that I can't know that for sure and last time, it was not just the flu.
I feel so bad that I am paralyzed with fear and can't take care of my son when he is sick. He is just quietly resting and being understanding, even though he doesn't know why his mother is freaking out.
My parents too are in a state of panic. I can hear it in their voices and it doesn't help me.
Jaime is having a really busy day at work but he is torn. I call him on the phone and he talks me off the ledge, temporarily.
Amrita doesn't know what is going on.
I wonder if I will ever feel safe again?
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